You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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