Sacagawea was the original milf.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.