one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
smell my finger.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms