My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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