Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
