I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize