i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
