oh god the rape fog is back!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
