I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
