I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The air taste purple.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
