end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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