FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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