I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
