I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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