Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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