I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
That's intense
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
