16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
