my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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