i may or may not be watching the land before time
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize