By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
