If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
