I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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