We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
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my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
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His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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