Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
