I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We named our party play list daddy issues
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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