i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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