Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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