Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
