We named our party play list daddy issues
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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