just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
