i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
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I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I wear drunk well.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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