I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
