my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
