Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
