someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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