smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
