"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
