I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I love you.
Bad choice
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
