adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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