after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We left the knife in your bed.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
