The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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