i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
