This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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