I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
