Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
