Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
