He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
