I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
