Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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