If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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