He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
