My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
