all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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