You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
