redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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