sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
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We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
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I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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