this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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