just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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